Our experiences of sexual abuse that happened when we were little, innocent children will not just affect us during our childhood years, or our teenage years, but also our adult years. We can become wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, grandparents, and still it affects us.
Now the important thing I want to point out and make clear for you today is that we have a choice. Yes, that’s right I did say the word choice. Some people will agree with me, some may not, but you know what, that’s ok. I have faced enough adversity in my life thus far, since being born and since coming out on the other side that I see that it was realising and then truly knowing how powerful I really was that was most important. I just like each and every one of you who is reading this, have the power of CHOICE. Believing and really getting your mind around the possibilities and freedom around getting to choose how we let experiences, circumstances, affect us is something that no one on earth can take away from us.
Here are two choices we have that will let what has happened affect us:
In the past couple of years I have achieved growth in many areas of my life, and for this I am grateful as now, I am where I was always meant to be.
I learned a few things along the way, which have been crucial to moving ahead with healing and letting go of my past hurt from being sexually abused from the age of five years old. For many years I was held down by negative emotions like anger, hate, fear, abandonment, loneliness, feeling unaccepted, and judged by others with the belief that I was too unworthy to live.
I really want to do the best I can, to share valuable information be that on social media, a blog post, or the freebie downloadable resources on https://meanttorise.com while keeping it real, and as simple as possible for each one of you very busy giving people. I am honoured to share with you what I have learned along my journey of healing, from child sexual abuse to years of drug and alcohol addictions, eating disorders, and prostitution. These were my years of sabotaging anything good from happening in my life. I didn’t want help because I wanted to do it myself to show I wasn’t weak and I didn’t want to feel like I was a charity case having to beg for help. I didn’t want to feel like that little girl who was standing in the Salvation Army Store with an almost homeless and desperate family in Seattle Washington.
That’s another story that can be found in my memoir, ‘Because I was abused,’.
I am grateful to have survived and despite my attempts of suicide, it was not in Gods plan for me to leave so early, but to survive and be here for you in your time of strengthening as a survivor.
We must learn the lessons that move us on to solid ground so that we can feel stronger. Below are a few lessons that helped me take more steps forward after abuse.
• It’s not my fault! I had to tell, even yell this to myself constantly just to make me believe that I was an innocent child. I repeatedly had to tell myself that I didn’t do anything wrong and the shame and guilt of the abuse was not my burden to carry. Be patient, this acceptance of innocence is not going to happen over night.
• Be Kind To yourself so that you can serve others the best that you can
• Don’t envy your neighbour or friends because they are all on a different journey. See the positive happening in your life right now, there is something.
• Let go of trying to control every situation in life… When I learned to let go and watch what was meant to happen, wow! Amazing things unfold. I’m not saying don’t do anything, because that brings no results. Take steps within your abilities and if a job or plan does not work after several attempts, let it go. It probably is not meant to happen the way you plan…. but trust it will work greater than you thought. As the song goes – if it’s meant to be, it will be.
• Be your best friend and tell yourself those short but sweet messages like that you can do it, that you love the person you are.
• Be authentic to you stick to your dreams and listen to what makes your heart sing most. Go with what you are most passionate about. When I first discovered what I was to do in life I was in tears because it felt right. I reached my “this is what I was born to do” moment.
• Utilize what is already there don’t waste time reinventing the wheel, use resources that are already there so you don’t spend hours coming up with ways to efficiently get things done.
• Ask the experts- they are out there to help you
• Make decisions that are best for you, yes others will benefit so do not believe the lie that you are selfish.
• Feed your mind with all things good, see the positive in your day, and continue to exercise your mind so it gets stronger and you may just start a habit of positive thinking.
This blog is not about me and if you’ve read my book, you already know my story. These lessons are here as a guide, may you know you are free to make choices benefiting your journey. This is about supporting YOU. I am sharing the things that have really helped me throughout my struggles. Always know Meant to Rise is here for YOU.